"Do it now, regret it later."
I'm thoroughly convinced this is how my mind operates... and I'm not sure if that's a good thing.
I see it, I want it, I go for it. No reasoning, no logic, no rationalizing.
This trend in my life is really starting to piss me off if we're being honest.
Two years ago, I was transitioning to go to natural hair. One day, while under a lot of pressure, I picked up some scissors and cut my relaxed ends off, way sooner than I intended to. Last year, I was seeking change, and I guess from a psychological stand point, I didn't feel in control of my life. You know what I did? I went to the barber shop and cut off a year's worth of hair growth. Then, I picked up a box of bleach and blue dye and decided to be a mermaid for a few months. I got tired of the blue and my tapered cut, and randomly went to a barber and shaved off all of my hair and started over (I'm currently regretting this decision as I grow my hair out).
I'd spend my last on a cinnamon pretzel from Auntie Annie's because I REALLY wanted it, knowing I should probably save for more important things.
I've gone to the mall for a sweater, and left with piercings that I had no intentions of getting that day.
One time, I bought tickets to a mass media expo in Boston, Massachusetts not having a plan on how I was getting there from New Haven, Connecticut, but I assumed I'd find a way. Needless to say, I never made it - my non-refundable $25.00 did though.
I hate planning things and I'd rather go out on a whim if that means I can get what I want, even if I only want it in that moment.
Tunnel vision, sucks. Being impulsive, sucks. I never know if it's worth it. What's a few minutes of pleasure to months of regret? Of course my decisions don't always result in self-pity, or being broke, but, when they do, I really question my ability to make 'logical choices' (whatever that means).
For those of you who take your time in life, kudos to you. Show me your ways, because at the rate I'm going, I'm probably going to be bald and broke forever.
producer / writer / artist