'black girls talking'

I have a new obsession! 

After my revelation that social media is weighing too heavily on my life, I've decided to get into Podcasts - you know, to stay somewhat connected or whatever.

So, I discovered Black Girls Talking on iTunes and let me tell you, I just want to call all 4 of these girls up and tell them, 'Let's go to lunch or something'. They're just the type of people I seek to have conversations with, and I've only listened to ONE PODCAST.

It was entitled "Imposter Syndrome", a term that I recently read about and resonate with in terms of my life. 

Imposter Syndrome is the act of not giving yourself enough credit and basically denying the credibility of your success. Most of us go through this and think that we don't deserve that A+ on a paper, or we got the job because we're 'Black + Female' and they're looking for diversity, as opposed to just getting it because we're actually qualified. It's denying the fact that you deserve everything in your life.

I haven't really faced this in terms of my 'career', because .. what career? Ha.

But in terms of this blog, I try to derogate the quality of my own blog because I consider myself a 'baby to the game'. I question whether or not I should mention I have a blog in job applications because I'm not exactly sure this is 'Professional Enough', but this is my blog and I have to own it.

In the podcast, my 4 new favorite ladies mentioned that there are people, usually lacking melanin, who walk around feeling entitled and have no issue with self-promoting and feeling confident in their work. How does one get to this point? Without validation from readers, I never actually know if what I'm doing is even reaching anyone. Yet, I stumble across other blogs or Youtube channels that completely lack substance and are doing well in terms of viewership and I just have to wonder.. How, Sway? 

I somewhat have the answers though: Confidence.

So many of you tell me in the Survey that my website is fine and are genuinely interested in my work, so why the doubt?

Here's where my withdrawal from social media comes into play. I found myself constantly comparing my Instagram feed to others, or going to certain places to make it seem like I have a life for Snapchat. Going to check on others blogs to see how they write and why are people reading their posts. Why do random people share their posts, but my readers have such a hard time sharing mine? How did they expand their audience and I'm limited to what only seems like my mom and best friends?

No more. I need time to really focus on what's actually going on in real life and be confident in my life, my blog, and my future (eventually...).

As a Communications major, I obviously need to maintain a media presence, but I'm in the process of creating separation between my Internet presence and who I actually am. Many people are basing their life on their social media presence and it stresses me out. How many followers you have does not determine your value in real life!

SN - Have you ever seen how people look when they walk around with a camera for a Youtube Vlog or make a Snapchat video in real life? They look crazy.

I'm basically just trying to center myself and truly figure out who I am and how I feel about myself and the world today without social media clutter in my head.

Anyway, I encourage all of you to go to BlackGirlsTalking.com or search for their Podcast on iTunes and get hip. 

Happy Tuesday!