As basic as this may sound, I don't know who I am. I love when people tell me what they think about me, because that way I have some sort of idea of how the world views me since I'm not sure. It's crazy, I see people online or in person and I can automatically categorize them. You know? Like, the artsy hipster vegans, the conscious folk, the cool kids with nice clothes, the trap queens and their respective kings, the girls with three Naked palettes and 24" bundles, etc. I'm not sure how I categorize people or what makes people who they are, but I feel as though there's no category or label for myself.
Considering I don't only listen to one kind of music, or dress one way, or do my hair the same way or whatever, I can't quite put my finger on who it is I'm supposed to be. Being undefined can be sort of overwhelming, and I'm not sure why. But in situations where I have to describe myself, a wave of anxiety passes over me. I mean, I'm an introvert, but I'm also an extrovert. I listen to Lauryn Hill, Jill Scott and Mama Badu - but I also listen to The Fray, Banks and Lana Del Rey - in addition to my collection of The Weeknd, Kendrick Lamar and Future. I like heels (Wish I could walk in them a bit better) but I also like dirty Converse. My hair is natural, but I'd straighten it at any time or sew in a weave if I felt like it. I'm writing this blog, not because I feel as though I NEED a path to follow, but to show others that it's totally fine if you don't. Whatever things you refrain from doing out of fear that it's 'Not For You' - cut it out. You can be whatever or whoever you want to be - basic I know, but it's true. All of these labels and categories and "in order to do this, you must be this" should stop. Especially if you're in college. We're only now getting a taste of what life is and we have so much more to look forward to. Who I was at 16 is not who I am a 19. And who I am at 19 will be totally different at 23. Who knows? I might perm my hair, move to Europe, or get married or something... Lol. There's no need to pick a path, or figure out who you are, because chances are you're gonna go through 12 different transformations before next year.
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KAYRAJAY27 / libra / artist / muva Archives
January 2020
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