create. destroy. repeat

It's been awhile hasn't it?

Lately, I've been feeling very detached. And this is the first time I'm actually acknowledging this feeling. I feel very detached from my school, from work, from my friends. Honestly, the only person I've been wanting to be close to is my mother. And I'm not writing this as some cliché Mother's Day post (My mom knows I don't do long posts to satisfy social media's standards of gratitude) but I really have been yearning for my mommy. I also know that once I press post she's going to call or text me and ask if she needs to purchase a ticket to come up here, which would be nice but it's totally unnecessary.

But, I digress. I've also been feeling very distant from myself. Which is odd, but very true. I find myself questioning my character more and more each day, driving me into a silence.

Speaking less, writing more.
Debating less, thinking more. 

It's difficult for me to create as well, hence why I've been missing these past couple of weeks. As someone who feels very deeply, I need to connect with my creations whether it be a painting, writing, sketch, etc. And I haven't been able to establish this connection for a very long time.

My goal for this summer is to truly reflect on certain aspects of my life and really figure some things out. Take time for myself, listen to myself, learn my body and my mind and bring them all together. I'm extremely grateful for the opportunities that I've been granted and the help I've been blessed with. 

Being up here can grow very lonely and watching everyone else rely on their parents, while I do things on my own, can be very frustrating at times. But I thank my mother for teaching me independence and constantly supporting me, even when I'm at my lowest, and for reminding me how strong I am. 

I love Karen.